I cannot stress or implore how importing that I need to see the average viewers up. (not max)
Gifted subs is cool for a month, but if no one continues it goes back down quickly. April 2nd gets here and these numbers don’t go up or I keep that 10+ subs. to show. I am sad to say but I will be shutting down my stream for good as I feel like I am wasting my time now.
I have done a lot on my side and it’s not going anywhere, as I have done nothing but give and I ask for something simple in return.
Stuff like this helps, how does it help you say? well think about it, I don’t see any growth in any possible way. Sure, I had a few front page spotlights that got a “TON” of followers but how legit are they really tho?
This lone hero jumped in and dropped 10 subs, and now guess what? I can make another emote and do more things. I would love to keep this up, I would love to feel more useful to my own community of things. I am seeing more interaction with suggestions to help build up the community lately and this is what I thrive for. I love it, give me more input as Johnny 5 would say.
I hope to see an audience when I finally get the motivation to finally break my anxiety again and stream more CTF’s from finishing up the Hacker101’s to start HackTheBox’s.. because nothing hurts more than to break my anxiety wall and do one. Just to get a troll bot or just myself viewing myself streaming it.
So if you are reading, then come talk nerdy to me even when I am sailing the sea of thieves. I love talking about tech, cars, and major hacks.
So here… before I just close my shop up here and close this dream chapter of mine.
What is my dream?
Since 1998, I’ve had these focuses.
I never wanted to be that dime a dozen corner store Linus tech tip store selling you malware to repair your computer so you can come back later (trust me I’ve been there with my bad business partner in Oregon, when I questioned his methods and why he is pocking my money he held me against my will and pushed me out of Oregon)
Some goals that would change my mind of dropping my dream, giving myself about 60
days max from 02/01/2021, this is not a joke.
This is it… I’ve spent my time, I’ve conquered my anxiety but now it’s do or die.
When April 2nd comes around and no goals are met, I will count this a full failure and I will move onto something else will retire everything from this point on including my twitch support and streams.
I am already in the works on something else in this place. It is not the place I want to go down but it’s in the works as a punishment for my failure.
I am trapped, I have been trying to break away since 2019 when alot of bad things happened around when my mother passed away, I am extremely unhappy with my work environment. I have feel like I have made a HUGE mistake and I want to quit so badly but if I do I would have to refinance my house again just to survive for a little bit until I can find someway to make the income as I am currently living paycheck to paycheck and thanks to the pandemic I am really strapped on the cash flow.
You ask why is it bothering me that much I should be grateful and suck it up? Well here is an example what I am dealing with, I am doing what I normally do but when it got down to the last moment of doing your job, you are now getting told what to do and micromanaged how they want you to do it treating you like a baby that I don’t even know how to do my job anymore and the abuse continues with their poor choice of words to a point I want to quit and I am sitting there screaming “please fire me already I can’t do this anymore”
I have been applying to get out for the longest time, as you would figure being in the black hat field before would qualify you for a cyber job somewhere right? nope, I didn’t get arrested with the government so there for I am a no one. Yeah I broke into servers, dumped databased, traded databases for stuff, built automated scripts and DDoS Attack drones, no big deal right? sure I hacked an ISP and then worked for them, but I am worth less than a McDonalds employee to them and the same type of verbal harassment in return so what is the point of returning to work for them? I would get more money working in Starbucks as a barista at this point.
I have been trying for jobs I know I would fit in and do extremely well and have that return of invested time in not just for the money but feeling rather useful for my time. But, every time I get to the second interview, it turns out great but I get that follow up email “sorry, try again another time”
Then I look at this side hustle… I get motivated to try and keep trying to push it but when I even spam out flyers and such not even a bite.
What gets me is for an example, I am even a moderator for some communities and they see me struggling and is damn well they should know that I could do everything from hosting graphic and web design for them but I feel they don’t care enough and I get ignored on that area too like a punch in the gut showing they don’t give a shit regardless I spend my time helping them out.
When I brought back WRNet as a community I was motivated because at one point it was a growing community with 1k+ IRC server at one point but now I have barely a handful of people that hang out but 9/10 muted it because what is the point of talking to me? which brings me back to feeling like I am a no one.
I have been feeling down and it has been hitting me and rethinking things with just giving up and currently thinking of what will I just convert and focus into, just be labeled as a new person “X” and register this person X and let these domains expire and not renew them.
I have felt and have been feeling like I’ve made a mistake into keep going as I have wasted 20 years on the RavenPC / WonderingRaven brand alone.
On the good side, I did meet a few friends along the way, but that is all. Support for what I do is ignored on a greater level and I have to think and reinvent myself as I am now 41 and I really got nothing.
I am still trying to figure this out, meaning if I see some type of light at the end of the tunnel then I’ll continue but Just like any bad business investments, you have to let it go.
I am done with all of this.
I have spent over 20 years trying to make a dream come true. I’ve done nothing but be a failure trying with no help.
What is going away is everything I attempt in doing including:
WRNet: Community, my refocus business to WRNet:Sec, RavenPC, Dorkmedia, etc…
My Twitch is going away, twitter, all socials as much as I can do is fade to black, including discord.
I am just done.
No help, No support, Lost all hope. I just simply have given up.
There is a list of games that is just mentally hard to play that I used to enjoy, I still enjoy but either they are feeling like a waste of my time and / or it brings back hurtful times and bad memories and you can’t make good memories alone.
My mom passed away in July of 2019, she was very close to me and her death was very sudden out of no where.
World of Warcraft:
Warframe:
Destiny 2:
FF14:
FF11:
Sea of Thieves:
“I started with this hacking shit, and this is the motherfuckin thanks I get?”
As the song plays on and story about to be told and unleashed to YT Hell, I hacked my career in IT and into the ISP as my first job. I did do a smaller version but this one I am about to release is a much more in depth to this version.
I feel like I am wasting my time with a place that see me only as “cheap” labor and knowing my own worth should be an powerful ally let alone.
There is always 2 sides to every story, but I always tried to think that maybe things will get better? you know be nice or too nice? turn the other cheek?
I can understand why sooo many people hate the guy, could never trust him, his verbal abuse alone is what causes the problems to begin with.
He did in fact got me involved with the FBI once when I was recovering from cancer and all I did was answer his call to give him a helping hand and as soon as I arrive at the warehouse it got raided and this moment I will never forget when I had both the ATF and FBI pointed Their Automatic rifles at my head for over hours. I should have ended my career with the ISP *then* in 2003 not continue on until 2007.
I wrote alot of my frustrations in 2004 – 2007 on my own personal blogs back then, why would I have wrote such things?
Here is A thought of why as I am self reflecting, I needed to reach out as I was being verbally abused, maybe for a good intention but everything was handled badly and poorly to a point I felt trapped, starved, and I really needed help as I felt like I’ve made a huge mistake at that point of my life. I couldn’t escape, I needed help badly and I even relayed upon my ex-wife to help me hence is why I left in 2007 and finally pushed myself to a real job from there.
As I am reflecting about the the offer I handed over, the thought process was when he called me a friend in 2019, thinking he might have changed a bit or turned a new leaf?
Just the rejection alone had me reflecting about it and I keep bouncing the idea if I could will it work? and in the end is it worth the effort?
Always thinking of ways of could have handled alot of the situations but the first and foremost is that I should not have been in any of the situations in the first place. If promises was kept and rewards, promotions, and career boosting opportunities arise from within things would have been a whole lot better and proud to be apart of the ISP would be there and not feel like I work for a joke.
I mean they where a joke before I started in 99/00, they had no idea who did what to their network, Pretty much still a joke now with high turnaround rates for low wages.
With all these reflections, thoughts, and memories, I am trying to justify a way if there is a chance I could break down that verbal abuse and claim a promise?
Ultimate goal is to be a partner of some sort with this ISP, CISO is in mind and that is the Ultimate prize, and the dream to build my team and hire a lot of good talent or potential talent.
Sadly… that will never happen. Not unless this owner has a change of heart.
Hi there,
I recently have show case my discord from time to time. You may think why even join my discord? or why do you even care? “Oh it is just another streamers discord, hard pass”
Well first of all, WRnet in the early 2000’s hosted IRC server that housed over 1’000 of actual users not just my own DDoS egg drones at the time and had various of different chans-wide it became a community for a testing ground area. “Incubator” in various roles suck as Server Administration, Network Administration, etc…. places where we can colab with ideas, hacks, and how-to’s with critical thinking. Of course this vanished when I became sick with cancer and I lost my domain name in the process of fighting for my life. But now it’s back!
Discord, is a much better system as it supports images, voice / video conferencing to even local channels around various of projects I work and support with. IE: Car related -> Touge Project, RavenPC my branding of hardware, and to even Dorkmedia. SO I decided to reboot my wrnet community in this fashion. (at one point before I got sick I was developing an mIRC script that did some functionalities as discord is now)
Things I have considered and would move forward with is split any proceeds I make with my twitch with working mods who help promote and push for my success. This also means my twitch payout. If this was a way to pay my mods, this is how I would do it, I would just give you a % of my payout. This list will expand as more of the WRNet community grows.
So here is what I am looking for:
Here is what you can expect:
How to apply:
Rules:
Goal for this discord is to revive the old WRNet community not be just another streamers discord. I am also not into being a black hat like I was when I was younger so everything must follow Discord’s Terms of Service.
Goal’s for the stream is to give back to the ones who helped me in becoming successful. I want to bring back the ol innovation and critical thinking.
Here is a term that has been around lately with Sea of thieves, you are role playing a “pirate” and it actually gets me when people define pirates and get it mixed and get it twisted.
There is people who both embrace pvp and try to run from it. You the pirate engaging in another ship to sink and claim their “loot”
Reaper Bone’s is a Trading company in Sea of thieves does not mean you are a “pirate” per-se it’s a trading company that encourages piracy, but doesn’t mean you need to pirate. People assume raising this flag means you are automatically looking for trouble, it just puts you on the map knowing your location at all times.
Being a pirate does not mean that you are a Warrior, barbarian, nor viking etc…
Being a pirate is a robber of the sea in short, You come to steal and rob people if you are looking for pvp there is the Arena that is full of people who are looking for pvp fun, but in the sea of thieves you pirate or be pirate or be the one who hunts the pirates (bullies of the server) IE: Lie, Cheat, Steal… or in better wording “Pirate, Mate”
Flameheart “Not Pirates, but cowards” the thing is with this, this is a contradiction or an insult to actual pirates as pirates are cowards as they will use anything they can to run and rob you later.
TL;DR.
Pirate does not mean barbarian, If they have a reaper bone they are a huge target, The higher the emissary to a pirate this means there is a lot of loot. You can’t be certain if they are going to fight or run 9/10 they will run because “they have loot” My suggestion would be not to engage directly instead trap them into a corner and destroy them with thinking + plotting like a real pirate would do.
Winning is Winning, there is no honor amongst thieves, if you want honor go play “For Honor”
Last but not least, You cannot get angry if they run. If they run, do what ever you want to do, but unless you have the wind favor and the ship then proceed other than that don’t waste your time because unless human error takes place 9/10 you just lost the loot that you want from them and you are now playing their game of cat and mouse. With this I would suggest immediately stop and find another way.
I hope this helps with your way of thinking, yarr see you on the sea’s.
As you have known, I have been streaming on Dlive.tv/WonderingRaven for over 2 months now, I started for a plan of 1 month but extended to two months. I never got to their affiliate status as it is beyond hard to do any type of networking on, it’s hard to be discovered it seems streaming games. It is hard to do any type of discovery or networking on this service and more I dig into the other streamers more “Yikes” I tend to get.
When I attempt to reach out to other streamers on DLive, they stream content that I just cannot jive with. I just can’t do it, it is beyond too political and too many tin foil hat wearers there and then it also harbors hate groups or allows them to use the platform to stream on as they cannot stream on Twitch nor YouTube.
Because of this I am going to reach out to my brother and get my nephew remove from this platform because of this nonsense that isn’t regulated.
Dlive suffers a viewer bot flaw that twitch had years ago but it is no point of having a lot of viewers because the browsing is technically shuffles who is playing what in that catagory.
Dlive has potential, I might continue my CTF’s there for the meanwhile but I am removing my game in my primetime of going live.
