For the longest time, I have been shaking and dealing with a massive burnout with being inside of Information Technology areas, or how I’ve heard it was called the tech sector.
I have been wondering where did it all start out? why do I feel this way?
2000 – 2007 & 2011-2012,
It started with LVN the company I once worked for, when I was doing so many multiple hat roles from System Admin, Network Admin, InfoSec, Help Desk, and End User Services. I worked hard and long hours a lot and got little to nothing to show for it with little to no appreciation and always I was mentally and verbally abused when things don’t go there and it was way that was out of my control or when I question them and their methods.
2007 – 2009,
I tried doing the whole outside end user services being a Managed Service Provider, did well but the economy crashed. I also had alot of home drama that took place.
2009 – 2011,
I moved to Redmond Oregon where I partnered / merged with Redmond Computers also known as eOndeck only to be working hard and long hours and burning my unemployment savings just to live and when I asked for my share I was held against my will and pushed out of Oregon that experience taught me how to own my own business but with that whole held against my will situation really killed my confidence as a person even tho I am 10x much better than proclaimed as I have proven myself with accomplishments in the tech sector joining the casino world. But even with that success comes a toll, a toll that making me feel even more burned out and always on the verge of quitting and just go back to something simple.
2012 – present,
Casino wise: contract to hire where my hard work was earned a place inside the casino.
When hired upon in 2014, promoted 3 times in that year from level 1 -> level 2 -> level 2 vip. It was great for that kind of feeling knowing you are you and your team see you for you and not just another tech.
Then moving to IT Security as an Engineer for Patch and Vulnerability management, the custom scripting and building stuff on the fly can be fun but being punished and being tossed under the buss often for words not spoken to unknown stuff I didn’t know, in the ‘lack of communication’ and it has a reverse effect on me.
Knowing my passion for Infosec is there has always been there, without my influence with LVN, like if I never applied and got the job in 2000 aka if I never joined, they were most likely have been compromised for many years later and who knows how bad their customer data would have been compromised.
The partnership with Redmond Computers, (eOndeck). My infosec influenced to this company to know and teach others basics of Cyber Security 101.
My influence with the casino is knowing what is bad for security (Cyber Security 101) and calling them out. This helped me alot with climbing parts of my success in promotions but became a stalemate when I joined a new team.
I think what really helps with my burn out is this statement I had a long time ago and it was repeated a dozen times as “Just another computer guy”. I always hate this statement with a huge passion because I am not being recognized for my hard work and this is where I feel that I just want to give up as I don’t want to be just that another random stranger when I try my hardest not to be.
Thoughts I’ve had was to quit the whole information technology and tech and just become a mechanic or something else to even flipping burgers at McDonalds to really give up all together. My passion has been with infosec for a long time it became a part of my life and living.
Yeah, sure maybe I am equal to the power ones out there like Linus Tech Tips, but I never wanted to be on the spot like them. I have always pushed that kind of thing away because I never wanted that label to be placed upon me.
So overall, I am not just looking for a job, I am looking to be a part of a team, almost like a professional family. Where I would be recognized and I could be encouraged to recognize the ones around me.