I am 47 now, and all feels like my life was wasted, wasted this past 15 years in Vegas, looking for a path back.
I bought a house here 12 years ago, for an investment to move back, I moved away to escape my family, to escape the smell of weed, the smell of smoke, to escape the depression vibes, I even wanted to escape my own mother at the time and her raging attacks. I wanted to vanish from everyone, and try again like I did in 2009.
The faith I placed into friends to keep that from happening has let me down, somehow I’ve let the family back into my life and expected them to abandon me pre or post pandemic, but didn’t happen.
They don’t understand me, they don’t listen to me, and most of all they really don’t respect me instead they expect me to hand over everything and be sure to have life insurance out to make sure my nephew gets my house if an accident happens. In a house I just wanted to live in for 5 years and sell and go back to Oregon.
My dad attempts suicide that could of been prevented if they took care of one another and stop putting me in the center of it all, if they would have moved out shortly after my mom has passed away. The Burdon wouldn’t be placed on my step dad who hated my uncle anyways. I wished I had the money to get him a real care taker.
I am tired, I don’t belong in vegas I am only being held back because of them now and now with the climbing prices and costs it has been nearly impossible to do anything.
They think my life is a joke to them, they can’t even call me by my real name.
I don’t even know what to do anymore they keep costing me more money, instead of making money as roommates would have. I feel like I have became a prison in my own house and a threat caused by them of bugs I never wanted to experience and now I have sleepless nights because how allergic I am to them.
I feel stuck like I shouldn’t be, this house wasn’t for them to refugee into. I feel like this is it, this is my end of my story. Vegas is my prison, held back by my own family who won’t let me go.
This is how I feel, I can’t even get a little help that doesn’t benefit them but this time me.