Well I am going to cut some stuff out of my life and go down my path (unless another catastrophe happpens aka another shutdown, a war that actually involves my life, another death in the family, etc…)

Revisiting the CCNA – 200-301 for a critical backup ceritifcation and a potentially a career path changer as a temp solution till I go down the cyber security engineering path.
I can’t afford to live and learn certifications and such so I have to use what I know and take the certs. CCNA has been on hold due to financial reasons, a death and pandemic.

It’s time to move forward.

The quest to keep me away and far away from LVnet as a backup is my goal, unless they take my offer as an CISO I actually want nothing to do with them anymore.
When I work for them, my confidences drops, my self worth feels less than a KMART employee.. and this is caused by the bad management of it’s staff and how they treated me for over a decade with false promises. If I can’t be seen as an equal than I want nothing to do with that kind of toxicity.

Hi there,

More thoughts today as it continues on.
I advertise that I am open for stuff, I offer and in due time I do fix things for people as requested.

I grew up hard in poverty, I struggled in poverty and I am still trending the poverty line and about to sink back into it, I am struggling to stay a float.

I do everything I can to make a name, like for instance I offer services from Graphic Design, web design and stuff but no one cares and they higher others who isn’t struggling like I am. I offer custom computer building (been doing so for over 20 years), and they reach out and have someone else do it. I see this stuff from people who I call friends and I still don’t know why I still do?

Here I am about to hit the unemployment line and / or homeless shelter as the world keeps increasing their prices on everything and I can’t make enough to keep at it. I am sinking and as long as I am not going anywhere with my business I am toast as things increase even more I can’t keep this up anymore.

I keep applying for better paying jobs that takes me away from my current role and different environment as I keep dreaming that one day I’ll see an increase boom of services / sales. But it’s been over 20 years of pushing, people like redmond computers who stabbed me in the back and pushed me out of Central Oregon with holding me against my will (sadly this was my only success I’ve ever had business wise). I almost made a successful business practice.

It just hurts you know.
I know I do an amazing job and offer an umbrella of services that I’ve placed into different catagories:
RavenPC -> Custom Computer building since 1999… (my dream was to do my own version of Alienware before dell bought them out) Believe it or not I still have a few clients who call me to build them a new system.
DorkMedia -> Graphic and Web Design since 2003, been somewhat in limbo but still have a few clients.
WRNet: -> This used to be an irc network circa 1999 – 2003 ish, with digital underground network, r00tabega and other networks at the time when IRC was the biggest thing. for IRC I still hang on genscripts.net as this is still an co-underground project that started with mIRC custom scripting in 1999.
WRNet:sec -> Broke away my Managed Services and Cyber security here was once apart of RavenPC as an al-a-carte and all since 2019.

2009 – 2011 I had a partner ship with another business model for ravenpc that ended up being redmondcomputers from central oregon, the owner horded all my money and when I questioned it, he stabbed me in the back and I was pushed to vegas and almost had to fight for my rights with a huge legal battle that got null and voided by 2012. Because of this trauma I’ve also have been struggling mentally with my confidence

I just guess in the end, I am apart of communities that should have acknowledged that I exist and know that I do these things as a service, to these communities I’ve became just a name or potentially just a number in their viewer count and just another person also known as “nobody”

For the longest time, I have been shaking and dealing with a massive burnout with being inside of Information Technology areas, or how I’ve heard it was called the tech sector.

I have been wondering where did it all start out?  why do I feel this way?

2000 – 2007 & 2011-2012,
It started with LVN the company I once worked for, when I was doing so many multiple hat roles from System Admin, Network Admin,  InfoSec, Help Desk, and End User Services.  I worked hard and long hours a lot and got little to nothing to show for it with little to no appreciation and always I was mentally and verbally abused when things don’t go there and it was way that was out of my control or when I question them and their methods.

2007 – 2009,
I tried doing the whole outside end user services being a Managed Service Provider, did well but the economy crashed.  I also had alot of home drama that took place.

2009 – 2011,
I moved to Redmond Oregon where I partnered / merged with Redmond Computers also known as eOndeck only to be working hard and long hours and burning my unemployment savings just to live and when I asked for my share I was held against my will and pushed out of Oregon that experience taught me how to own my own business but with that whole held against my will situation really killed my confidence as a person even tho I am 10x much better than proclaimed as I have proven myself with accomplishments in the tech sector joining the casino world.    But even with that success comes a toll, a toll that making me feel even more burned out and always on the verge of quitting and just go back to something simple.

2012 – present,
Casino wise: contract to hire where my hard work was earned a place inside the casino.
When hired upon in 2014, promoted 3 times in that year from level 1 -> level 2 -> level 2 vip.  It was great for that kind of feeling knowing you are you and your team see you for you and not just another tech.

Then moving to IT Security as an Engineer for Patch and Vulnerability management, the custom scripting and building stuff on the fly can be fun but being punished and being tossed under the buss often for words not spoken to unknown stuff I didn’t know, in the ‘lack of communication’ and it has a reverse effect on me.

Knowing my passion for Infosec is there has always been there, without my influence with LVN, like if I never applied and got the job in 2000 aka if I never joined, they were most likely have been compromised for many years later and who knows how bad their customer data would have been compromised.

The partnership with Redmond Computers, (eOndeck). My infosec influenced to this company to know and teach others basics of Cyber Security 101.

My influence with the casino is knowing what is bad for security (Cyber Security 101) and calling them out. This helped me alot with climbing parts of my success in promotions but became a stalemate when I joined a new team.

I think what really helps with my burn out is this statement I had a long time ago and it was repeated a dozen times as “Just another computer guy”. I always hate this statement with a huge passion because I am not being recognized for my hard work and this is where I feel that I just want to give up as I don’t want to be just that another random stranger when I try my hardest not to be.

Thoughts I’ve had was to quit the whole information technology and tech and just become a mechanic or something else to even flipping burgers at McDonalds to really give up all together. My passion has been with infosec for a long time it became a part of my life and living.

Yeah, sure maybe I am equal to the power ones out there like Linus Tech Tips, but I never wanted to be on the spot like them.  I have always pushed that kind of thing away because I never wanted that label to be placed upon me.

So overall, I am not just looking for a job, I am looking to be a part of a team, almost like a professional family. Where I would be recognized and I could be encouraged to recognize the ones around me.

Hi there,

Recently I have digging more into Dlive, last year when I attempted to I stumbled upon alot of hatred things including full on right wing nuts. Most of them left the platform when majority of them that streamed the capitol storming was banned from the platform. It was scary stuff at the time, but with recent news especially banning people who live streamed the raid on capitol hill they lost a big eye. Some nuts still stream there but it’s nothing like it was. Big names that streamed there and disappeared all seemed to switched to this platform to push the big dogs to give them more money. Because in the end these content creators is all about the money and self image.

DLive joined later in the game, it’s a real underdog as it contains no advertisements, it is built around being decenralizing and crypto. Then sold to the company of free software Rainberry also known as  “BitTorrent”

But compairing Dlive to Twitch, twitch has alot going on with partnerships and alot of “broken” api, widgets, and other addon.  It took them 8 months and who knows how much longer to patch a very bad security hole.  There is alot of bad things happening on twitch but it’s always been that way for the longest time and it feels like they are not fully doing anything to cover it. Because of that I went to Dlive and started to read up on some stories on the platform and I’ve once said this platform has alot of potential and it really does.

From the start, you can BTT stake in to make money with out the need of affiliate you just have to understand crypto.  Dlive is heavy on the decentralizing platform and on the crypto. They use Lemons instead of bits for it’s gifting that is something that can be conveted later on when you climb the affiliate to even partner level.

Poking away at dlive and it already feels a much more secure platform, it has less and their api isn’t fully developer ready to build 3rd party tools with there is tidylabs but it’s an extra tool that works closely with dlive and it isn’t easily exploitable or that I have yet to find so far.

You can’t see who is sitting in your viewer list but that is a good thing, as long as they have you as a view, (mute the tab but not the stream) it counts as an consistant view.  (If you have a proxy list or multiple TOR instances with different IP’s they also count as a view) Moderation tools are easier to manage.  There is no follower only chat mode but there is a slow mode that is encouraged to be used banning them removes them fully and email verification to chat in that channel can be a requirement. Creating an account doesn’t enforce an 2fa but it does do a few checking.

DLive has alot more going for it as it’s feels more of a safer platform all together I am already networking with others even with one of the community team leaders welcomed me in and so on. It’s like a huge giant big family style streaming service, if I can bridge a safer community using this platform I think dlive might have a winning chance again Twitch’s powerhouse.  Especially now with all the hate and massive problems twitch is currently having.

To be honest, if I hit partner first with DLive, I am done with twitch as my main platform. I am liking the rebound I am getting with the DLive community already as they need all the positivity they can get right now to shake the bad image they have had over a year ago.

if you want to join up and see what Dlive is all about check it out here and follow me on DLive 

Hi there,

In recent times I have made adjustments to my own stream, maybe you have taken notice or have seen it. I have removed more personal things from it and leave it towards as a hobbiest / gamer would do.  I would love to shift and beable to make streaming my main platform for not just my name but for my business as well.

I work hard and I don’t see the success in my work, I hit live every day for the past 4 years and rarely I get seen or even noticed.  I sit with 1 maybe 2 viewers, sometime I might get that host that has over 5 viewers to even 10 but an average viewership is always 1 – 3 viewers.

One time, someone has said  “you need to choose better friends” technically they are right, the ones I call friends and I bend over back supporting when it comes my turn, they are no where to be found and this is why I have trust issues.

I’ve held campaigns to build a custom pc and ship to a lucky person if I was able to achieve partnership, or just to gather the numbers I’ve held a campaign to give away free steam games of choice if I made the numbers per week. I’ve been so willing to give back but no one is listening.  My stream is no different than the popular streamers out there for various games it’s just not my stream, it’s not me. The issue is how I am ignored from the friends I tried to call upon.

In the end, I bake the cookies and I will continue to bake.  I am not going to pull something out of the over because of another cookie was over baked in a different oven.

Other words, I will hit live as scheduled for sept. 1st as like I normally do and no one will even care / notice. It doesn’t impact anything if I don’t go live nor will it impact me going live to begin with.

As for the communities that I seem to still show some support are still hypocritical form from it’s own, I have bowed out of that mess along time ago. If I am still apart of it, it might be because maybe someone might have a change of heart one day and include me but that hope has died along time ago and I rarely even care anymore.

On another side note, that’s cool the movement is getting a name, just like I say about celebrities on TV.  “Good for you” as my life goes on with no one behind me and I stand alone. I will still be optimistic and walk my own path.